Ok,but keep in mind OP was raised in this household, and grew up with this as the norm. I wonder how they were planning to bring the house down at the actual wedding. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. If you want to save your relationship you need to keep Tim away from your family, I'd go no contact myself. My dad (50 M) and I (24 F) have had a complicated relationship. Basically is he a good person and are you happy in the relationship. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. They're the ones that have broken the trust. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. Your family is bullying him. Vandalisim at the very least? Slashing tires costs money and time and possibly work. (Already responded but can't resist a LOTR reference!). I knew a lot of stuff was bad or unhealthy, but I'm still learning things even to this day. Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". Seriously, my husband had back pain and after many months I finally convinced him to go to the doctor in October of 2021. Tires aren't free. REAL men's lips turn red like the blood of our poached kill!!". That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. Yeah NTA sorry doesn't cut it, what if he had an asthma attack? Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them and watch how they retract. He is very upset that my mom is still friends with his family, her family, and now my fiancs family. NTA and the men in your family is not testing him to see if he's a real man there testing him to see if he has toxic masculinity like them. Lastly, as you're getting married, I don't know if you're planning to have children, but there is a genetic component to asthma, so you also have to consider the ramifications of ignoring this behavior now and your children spending time with the men in your family in the future. Honestly we should make a sister sub for AITA. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. Prank them back by telling them they can come to the wedding and then deny them entry at the door. They will always treat your fiance like shit and like he is less than. This guy could describe all of this behavior to a third party and leave them thinking hes being stalked by a violent gang after witnessing a crime. Um you both didnt cut off contact after his tires were slashed? How manly would they look being charged. Not a "real" man. My mother had saved child support payments for years so I could go to college. NTA. Little Timmy could have pranked them back by dying without his inhaler if he hasn't discovered its loss in time. Wouldnt it increase their respect for both of them as a couple if that despicable quartet come out of this wedding with the ULTIMATE wedding favour, aka mug shots and restraining orders? If not, then OP is out of family members that shouldn't be near them anyways. They really need to understand that their action could have had serious consequence (luckily it didn't). My dads girlfriend at the time started getting more and more demanding. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. I cant believe how many people are saying NTA. If you dont, it might literally become the hill your fianc dies on because they might hide his inhaler again. Like, Tim is well within his rights to leave this shitshow if she doesn't follow through (as he should be), but it sounds like she's been trying to get them to cut it out since the beginning and this was the final straw. And if you ever have kids then keep them away from this shit show! They could've killed Tim. Create a new healthy family. If I were OP's fiance, I'd just dip out of this whole thing and look for someone who comes from a normal, sane family. What kind of fiance would you be if you didn't stand up for him? Dont just erase them from your wedding, yeet them from your life. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Sounds like the boys in your family have an issue with being held accountable for their actions. If I were the step-dad, I'd pull all my wedding funds. Your wedding is about your fianc and you, it doesnt matter if your male relatives miss out if they are causing harm to the person the event is suppose to be celebrating. Fixing cars or whatever is a "manly" thing to do, but even if they can fix cars, there is nothing manly about these guys. Yeah. but the money isnt the problem, im just annoyed with how it all happened. Slashing tires and hiding inhalers are not harmless goofs. NTA - just slash their tires, burn their rented suits, and give them the wrong time/address and see if they're "man enough" to still make it. Considering that the four closest male relations in her life are all awful people, I think OP's failings are purely because her frame of reference was established at an awful angle by childhood. Tell Tim that loving you is not a free invitation to be disrespected. NTA you protect your husband. They all sound like the very worst the patriarchy has to offer and the fact that you are still in regular contact with them and subject the man you love to their dumb bullying is worrisome, to say the least. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. Stick with your opinion you are not exaggerating. Isnt it weird they think the respect they have for him matters? YTA- for making your husband put up with their antics for so long. Stand up to your fianc. Theyd be lucky if being disinvited was the worst thing youd do to them. He's not too weak to do it, he's too polite and it isn't his place. Honestly I would elope and not tell them and start getting closer with his family and make distance with your family. This is nauseating. What are the odds Timmy the Collegiate Asthmatic makes twice as much money as all of the REAL MEN put together Then I am so glad that OP isn't one of the women who "marry their father". Stand your ground. Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. Thats emotional blackmail. Tbh the fact that they did this shows me what kind of character THEY are and honestly, i would have kicked them out aswell. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). Why isnt this the top comment? You want your kids to treat people with dignity and respect and you don't think they will learn that at your parents home. Timmy will never feel comfortable and will always be on guard for the next shit show. Yes. That wasnt a prank. What they did was just so cruel. I was thinking that no way in hell I would let that man go alone into the woods with these chuckleheads for 3 minutes let alone 3 days after listening to all the horrible things they said and done. Who wants to be treated like that for the rest of their life? If you give in, now or ever, you will be the AH and you will get your fianc killed. Im sorry but is your family a bunch of uneducated hicks that actually think this shit is normal? You are NTA. NTA, you should elope and go NC with this family of bullies. But OP is NTA. Everyone should be laughing and no one's life should be in danger over one. OP is NTA for dis-inviting her family, but she is TA for all the times she wrote off her family's actions as "pranks". This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. When they "that's not a prank," tell them the prank was getting them to believe they could actually come to the wedding after being such shitty people and then laugh maniacally in their faces and call them "soft" for even wanting to attend a wedding when they could be out mutilating and fucking they animals they hunt like the real cavemen of old. Toxic masculinity ruins the party again. Recently, he TOLD ME he was taking my car to see his bio son. They just sound like a bunch of assholes!! For more information, please see our If my husband do this to me one day, aka letting people bully me, he would find himself very lonely because I'll be gone. This. If not, they really should be smarter than that. And if you have kids do you want them to be raised with this toxic environment. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. I'm impressed Tim kept trying with these jerks. Mom Kicking Teen Daughter Out To Make Room for Her 'Hobby' Sparks Outrage,"How unbelievably cruel she is to her own child to prioritize an art room over her daughter," commented one Reddit user. He died of the cancer 3 weeks ago. Slashing someones tires is NOT a prank! I really hope you make them pay for the tires they slashed. I have asthma. NTA, this is taking toxic masculinity to another level. NTA, and get security just in case if they even try to get in, The men in your family are assholes. for months. She cussed me out for prioritizing my hateful and cold hearted brothers over my stepdad and showing him that I'm not worthy of his grace which was really really hurtful for me to hear. Do you live in some backwoods place? Exactly. Assuming the sides of the tires were cut there is no plugging those. NTA they took his medication! To cut a long story short, I realised quite quickly in my older teen years (17) that my dad manipulated and gaslit me throughout my childhood and my mother was never the villain. I have to give him props but at least he realized it was going too far. I'm surprised he wanted to go on a 3 day trip with them after everything else they've done to him. Those would be considered crimes if the police were called. Imagine what more they will do now just for revenge. Not to mention dangerous. It's no joke and can be severely deadly. Also asthma has a genetic component, so any children Tim has could also end up developing it. This! I am having a hard time wrapping my head around why OP would let them take him camping. NTA. Super toxic. How he didnt dip after that I just dont understand. You dont let bygones be bygones when someone knowingly puts another persons life at risk. Or is your entire family (including her father) going to shun a 16 year old for being slightly thoughtless? You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. This is what its like to be part of a narcissists world. They bullied him and did illegal things. if someone going to collage is all they need to get set off on this super insercure episode those are people i would not want to be around. OP mentioned demanding they stop. TPing a house is a prank. totally agree. These aren't pranks. Honestly, if I were your fiance, I'd have left when you showed through your actions that's it's ok for your family to SLASH HIS TIRES. Men are less likely to seek out mental healthcare, and having much higher rates of completing suicide. He could have called the police on them for that. But if you only slash 3 tires you have to pay out of pocket. NTA, please protect your fiancee from these toxic, manipulative nasty people. Like good for you for uninviting them but they had to threaten to kill your husband for you to do that? Plugs are only good for punctures more then an inch or two away from the sides. NTA, at first I thought a couple pranks like whoopee cushions could be funny but hiding his inhaler is absolutely not a prank. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. NTA you are prioritising yourself and your mental health and thats the right thing to do. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. NTA. This is abuse. And they certainly already dont like him, considering the names they have already called him. Think of your incredible fianc. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. You don't hide someone's medication from them that helps them breathe when they need it. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Slashing tires and deliberately hiding people's life-saving medications are not pranks - hold your ground and keep them out! NTA and I can see this being a dealbreaker for Tim unless you go low to no contact. They have no respect for either of you or your relationship. Not to mention, it would be a pain in the A to replace them and probably balance them without the equipment of a shop - still possible but probably take a lot longer. ETA: please tell me they paid for the tyres. For more information, please see our That means OP figured it out themselves. lol they have lost respect for your fiance? I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. NTA, and just go NC with the whole lot - even your mom, because she clearly supports this shit. NTA like at all. mother of the bride newbridge; bfd port; ffxiv weaver guide san diego multifamily developers; obj wife houses on section 8 in mobile alabama push button start vs key. My wedding funds them from your life they are vandalism, destruction of property, grew... 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